Cowboy Bob's Campfire Conversations

Cowboy Bob and the Bouncin' Bovine

The other day, I was takin' the Aultman kids home after they'd been out ridin' my horse.

Across the railroad tracks, on our way to Highway 2, we passed a pasture with a bunch of beef cattle in it. As we swung around the end of the field, I realized that one of those cows was on the wrong side of the fence.

At first, I was afraid that the fool critter might jump in front of my car, so I slowed way down. The condition my car was in, hittin' the cow wouldn't cause any noticeable damage to the car - but the car just might put a sizable dent in the cow's exterior.

Well, I could see that the cow's owner had noticed the four-footed escapee, and was comin' from his house to try to corral the critter. I always believe in bein' neighborly, so I stopped my car and got out to give a hand. After all, it's kinda hard for one man to surround a cow

I had left my lariat at home, so I opened the trunk of the car and grabbed my longe line - just in case I could get close enough to slip a loop over Miss Bossy.

 There was a path through the brush right next to the fence, and it looked like our four-footed friend might try to make a break for it down the path, so I slipped through the ditch and planted myself on the path right in her way.

Right about then, Miss Bossy took her first good look at me.

She kinda raised her head as she scanned my boots, then my jeans, the longe line, my denim jacket, and finally that battered straw cowboy hat with the two feathers some kid friends stuck in it at the county fair.

 Well, I could almost hear that bovine brain as she digested this new information:

"Oh, oh," Miss Bossy thought, "He's a real cowboy. If I mess with him, he's liable to try slappin' a red-hot brandin' iron on me, or some such thing."

At that point, she literally turned tail, trotted down the fence line about twenty feet, and jumped over a four strand barbed wire fence to get back in the pasture.

That cow looked just like one of them fancy jumpin' horses back East when she cleared the fence.

Even a dumb cow knows that it don't pay to tangle with a real cowboy.

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COPYRIGHT © 1999 BOB LEMEN, GRAND RAPIDS, MINNESOTA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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